No Fair

[For those pressed for time and preferring a condensed version of this post, here it is: "wah, wah, wah." --Rachel]

It's 10:30 at night. I last saw Pants fourteen hours ago, really only the top back of his head buried as it was in the sheets. That's where I kissed him, right after I pulled on clothes I'm sick of, clothes I've been wearing to jobs for over three years now and that go back and forth between being too small and too big but never change in being too boring and too old. Someone told me yesterday at work that I had that "wholesome vibe going," which I didn't take as a compliment.

This rind of mental funk has not worn off like I had hoped. It seems like it's been four days now that I've woken up wanting to break something. Not in that groggy, I-hate-that-I'm-awake way that wears off in the shower. This is a thick coat of mean and I'm trying not to get it on anyone, but right now P. the Roomie has his lady friend over, for the night apparently, and they've retired to do loving coupley things in my spare bedroom and on sheets I'll have to wash.

My refrigerator is full of condiments I don't eat, but that ended up here when another Navy buddy moved to Japan, and it gives the impression that we have food when in fact we don't. Either this or the fatigue has lulled me and Pants into believing we don't need to go to grocery store, and consequently we've blown the month's grocery budget.

The one bright spot here is that my folks have conspired to send us a whole mess of really nice meat, Omaha Steaks, and it couldn't have been better timed. I have, no lie, nine different barbecue sauces in the lowest rack of my refrigerator, and I can only see this as a sign that the rest of these circumstances will eventually line up just as neatly as my impending rain of meat.

But right now, I'm going to bed, having watched three Netflix episodes of Deadwood and thus increased my deficit with Pants (who swore he wanted to watch them with me and why the hell couldn't I just wait) to a whopping six episodes. So much else seems like it's operating under a six-episode deficit right now...