Hair of a Hulk, then of a Bush

(Image courtesy of Wallsoffame.com)

This is a remarkably close approximation of the haircut I got in April. I paid close to $100 for it, and then went to a wedding the next day where I was the maid of honor, or as I called it, the freakish Hulk-head of honor. I was sans corrective eyewear on the day of The Haircut, and feeling pretty dumpy besides, so I directed the stylist to "make it fun-- update it." Apparently "fun" to this woman is waking up every morning with a bushy box-shaped head and hearing the sad, lonely piano theme song of "The Incredible Hulk" as you brush your teeth. As punishment, every strand of my hair that has grown in since April has been lightning white, as if terrified that one day it will meet a similar fate.

Luckily, the wretchedness of the original haircut has been ameliorated over time with several careful, way over-instructed haircuts from various women across the Gulf Coast. One curious lingering aftereffect of the layers growing out is that every morning, straight out of bed, my hair looks as though it's been styled for the next Republican Convention. Conservatives coif me at night. So my morning routine has become unnecessarily complicated as I try to realign my hair with my political affiliations.

On unsuccessful days, it looks like this:



(Image courtesy of cesnur.org)